Our world is constantly changing, and so is our society. Social practices are changing all the time. What men wouldn’t dream of doing 10 years ago is slowly becoming commonplace. The 21st century man is able to express his feelings and emotions, cook, decorate, and dress stylishly, all while maintaining his masculinity. So where does that leave you? If you are visiting this blog, you're probably looking for some tips on how to improve your lifestyle. This is your chance to get started.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Bring Back The Romance

This is a recycled post I wrote a few months ago. But at the moment I dont have much time to write anything new, so I thought I would re-post it. Although, it was written with the heterosexual male reader in mind, it can be quite easily modified to suit each individuals taste. I would also appreciate any feedback my readers are willing to give.

Remember, these are just ideas, so you can make them your own. Also, don’t smother you partner, feel her out to know if you are giving her enough, too little, or even too much attention. You should be sincere in your efforts and not make them seem contrived.

Give her a massage. Just as you like a good massage, so do women. Give her a foot massage when she gets home from work. If this is a first date, a foot massage may not be appropriate, but a back massage might be, listen to her ask her what she likes and do just that.

Tell her she is beautiful. This can be worded many ways. Its important not to say the same thing over again and again, this makes the comment seems insincere. Tell her she looks great, or radiant. Comment on her outfit, her hair, her eyes, and her skin. Try something like, "You have gorgeous eyes, or your lips are beautiful."

Tell her how bright or smart she is. Comment on something she says and reply a complimentary manner like, “Wow, you really know your stuff when it comes to literature.”

Pack her lunch. Include a hand written note telling her how special she is or that you love her, also take an opportunity to tell her she is beautiful, remember women love to be told they are beautiful, just don’t say it too often or it will lose its special meaning.

Take her shopping or go shopping with her. Help her pick something out; she will really appreciate the attention. It's important to show genuine interest, she will know if you are faking it, or if you seem distracted.

Give her flowers, just because. Just like giving a little gift, giving her flowers out of the blue will score you more points than if you give them on a specific day.

Run her a bubble bath. Have a hot bath ready for her when she gets home from work, or sneak off during a TV show and get it ready for her. Light some scented candles, this will certainly score you points plus she will smell great when you she gets in bed!

Get dressed up. Put on something that you know she will like. If you need help in picking something out ask a salesperson in your favorite department store or boutique.

Listen to her. One of the most common complaints of women is that their men do not listen. Try to show her you are listening by reaffirming what she says, for example she says, "I'm thinking about changing my hairstyle." You respond, "Really dear, you're thinking about a change? Tell me about it." This tells her you are interested and you care about her. Another great way to show her you care, is to ask her how her day was, but make sure you are prepared, if she has had a bad day, she may need to vent.

63 Comments:

Blogger cedia said...

You're quite the romantic. =)

11:28 PM

 
Blogger Neel said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:56 PM

 
Blogger Neel said...

Thanks Cedia, I think. *kidding*

12:57 PM

 
Blogger hengame said...

U don´t need any strategy:
Honesty is the Best Policy

There are men who behave very nice in the first months BUT sooner or later you can´t keep on acting (following a trategy cuz it works).

All come automaticly from the heart, when you really feel something for someone..

So: Be yourself and Honest

2:04 PM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

my beau does all this stuff...

to be honest. sometimes.. it grates on my nerves. i just want to be left alone at times. but i suppose that comes with knowing someone. you know when to step away and give them space.

3:24 PM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

maybe i'm a rare case though.. i can only speak for myself.

3:24 PM

 
Blogger Neel said...

hengame, esto no es una estrategia. es solamente algunas sugerencias para intentar y para ayudar a muchos hombres.

you are right, things should come from the heart. this is not a matter of being dishonest or not ones self, they are just suggestions. thank you for your comments.

4:19 PM

 
Blogger Neel said...

ms laughs, i would say you are a lucky girl, but i am quite sure you are right about space. i know i need mine at times.

4:20 PM

 
Blogger mermaid said...

Mermaid's perspective: The last one is the most important..."listen to her". She can't look beautiful everyday, and neither can you. Communication is what makes it all last, even when you disagree. The part about repeating what she/he said before jumping to conclusions is really important. Sometimes, we take off on one word, because we aren't listening...

4:27 PM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

Neel, i find it extremely sexy that you are bilingual...

i keep meaning to learn a second language. it will more than likely end up being sign language.

and i'm basically a reclusive person by nature. i think this is why his attention is mostly wasted on me.

i do like the massages though..

5:27 PM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

in other words...

je pense que vous êtes une gemme rare...

5:30 PM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

c'est important pour une femme de se sentir beau

5:32 PM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

c'est important pour un homme de sentir le spécial aussi

5:33 PM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

Avoir un bon weekend!

5:36 PM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

i've e-mailed you Neel.

6:39 PM

 
Blogger transience said...

my beau is like this also. i've completely changed him. he is a scorpio. sarah, i hear you.

6:59 PM

 
Blogger Barbara said...

I have had boyfriends do these types if things for me but always wanted sex in return. Don't get me wrong. I love a good roll in the hay but it pisses me off when he is doing something nice like a massage and I know he wants a blow job later on.
I love your ideas though. Any woman or man would love to be treated so wonderfully.

8:12 PM

 
Blogger gusgreeper said...

i have issues with affection, and romantic stuff, adam does all those things, but in moderation or i would go insane.

9:45 PM

 
Blogger gulnaz said...

good tips there. :) now you have done your day's good deed there, god bless u. :)

8:51 AM

 
Blogger Sk8RN said...

I totally agree with all of these. My partner and I do almost each of these things. Well, I give her massages; but I don't receive masssages anywhere near as often. ;-) I also prefer to shop alone, as my partner restains me too much from buying. But seriously, everything else - notes, flowers, listenning, reminding that we're beautiful and smart, bubble baths and dressing up... that's totally how to catch a love and to keep her! And hell, if I could get some massages, too, there'd be no telling what I'd do in return! ;-)

I'd also agree with hengame and spock... honesty and communication are also crucial and moderation is also key with romance. I wouldn't want to feel like I was being chased down by romance. though again, a little more massage would be nice. Maybe i should send C to this site to read that section of your post. ;-)

10:21 AM

 
Blogger DeeM said...

I think some men want to so special things but don't always know what. So, you're advice is helpful. People often forget it's the simple things that make a difference, not necessarily the grand gestures. It's these simple things that make me feel loved. You should have a column in a men's magazine. ;)

11:12 AM

 
Blogger Neel said...

I am going to make a general comment before addressing each of you individually. Many of you have pointed out the fact that you wouldnt want to be smothered. I know that all of us need space at time, but most commonly as relatiohships mature, romance begins to fade. Although many of you on here have wonderful partners who are very considerate and loving toward you, this is not at all the norm, and you are very fortunate!

I should probably include instructions that let the reader know not to try and do all of these in one day. The idea is just to help the common person whos relationhsip has become stagnant or for the individual whos idea of romance is The Olive Garden and a movie once a year!

11:26 AM

 
Blogger Neel said...

Mermaid, your perspective is always welcomed with open arms. I agree with you, but a person does not have to get dressed up or wear makeup to look beautiful, as you know, it emanates from inside.

Ms. Laughs, thank you. My Spanish is poor and broken. I dont get enough chance to use it, rather like my broken Bengali. Thank you for all your posts, and all your compliments, I translated them, very sweet.

Transience, what sign are you? I am a Pisces and always find myself being drawn to Scorpios, also all 3 of my siblings are Scorpios. How have you changed your boyfriend?

Barbara, thanks for your input. You know, I think it goes both ways, I have had girlfriends who try to do nice things when they want something also.

11:38 AM

 
Blogger Carrie said...

If you are anything like your post, you are a fine catch and some lucky woman will be just that....lucky. All the good ones live on the west coast I see.

nice.....very nice, I'd say YAY to all the recommendations, but the bubble bath would be my favorite.

11:43 AM

 
Blogger Neel said...

Corinna, Adam sounds really considerate. If he starts to overdo it you can just sick Gus on him.

Gulnaz, thanks did you hear me sneeze?

1:04 PM

 
Blogger Neel said...

Sk8r, thank you for your very astute comments. Massages are great, I used to get them weekly at one time (when I lived the good life.) My friend Cedia is encouraging me to open a spa so that she can come in for her massages. I prefer to do my shopping alone also, I usually dont like any kind of help. I just make the salesperson stand over by the register while I pile things up. Yep, honesty and communication are key. Go for it, send C on over!

Deem, I like your nom de plum (pen name) so much, I think it would be a good name for a band. You are so kind, I would love to write for a mens magazine!

Mitzzee, thanks very much, you are too sweet. How can you not like a bubble bath. I dont care what man tries to say that bubbles are not masculine, why did he like them when he was a kid? Jacuzzi tubs are also very refreshing.

2:02 PM

 
Blogger Lorena said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:31 PM

 
Blogger Lorena said...

well neel seems like you got it down :) however i wish they already knew this. there is nothing better than hearing "you are beautiful" because it is sincere than because they are trying to score points. i guess you'll know it when they say it, based on their eyes, how sincere it really is.

foot massage - great! i'm glad you listed this first :)

5:31 PM

 
Blogger gulnaz said...

the god bless was because u did a good deed...i'll explain...when in junior school, my teachers would have us do one good deed a day and write it down and we were supposed to read it out next day, it was checked daily. taken pretty seriously too as most of us would end up cooking up stories, since stuff like giving a glass of water was not acceptable on a daily basis. :)
the subject was called moral science class, we even had a moral science text book!

5:44 PM

 
Blogger Neel said...

Lorena, Thank you. I have changed the post slightly as well as the title thanks to suggestions by you and all the others.

Gulnaz, I am sorry, that is my dry English sense of humour, and I was just teasing you. We say God Bless in our family home also; my mother uses it in the same context as you quite often. I certainly meant no disrespect.

The class sounds like a very good one, and one that should be part of the curriculum in more schools around the world.

5:51 PM

 
Blogger M said...

As you say..simple lessons that woks for everyone....problem is we let ourselves get too caught up to do the little things that are really big on meaning..:)

6:50 PM

 
Blogger Natasha said...

geeze, i would love someone to do this stuff for me. i am gonna tell the guy i am dating to look at this site. hope alls well!

9:40 PM

 
Blogger Natasha said...

u know, he is actully pretty good to me cause we just started dating. i wonder if he will change after some time? i like what deem said, you do give good advice.

9:56 PM

 
Blogger Kira said...

...just came by to drop off the swedish lesbians...

(the rest of you, don't ask, Neel Sen knows what it means at least...haha!)

It's a great list. For me, if a guy massages me regularly, I'm too content to make trouble. I especially like feet and legs massaged....mmmm! That one alone would do it!

6:28 AM

 
Blogger Neel said...

M, you have hit the nail on the head and simplified it, very well put!

Natasha, Hi! All is well, I hope it works out for you! Thanks for the encouragement.

Kira, I can see you and I are going to become good friends. Send me your weak, your tired, your lesbians! I prefer the lesbians that like to occasionally play with boys though.

You are right, a good massage can deter troublemakers or can be a bargaining tool.

12:14 PM

 
Blogger mermaid said...

I know you didn't emphasize the outside looks part. Trust me, you are right when you allude to physical attraction being one of the first things we notice. It's not shallow, it's the truth.

1:09 PM

 
Blogger Natasha said...

yes, all is good but it would be better w/ a massage!

4:58 PM

 
Blogger Neel said...

Mermaid, you are right, they say something like we make a judgement within the first 20 seconds of meeting someone based on appearance, this is a reflex action.

Natasha, great, glad to hear you are doing well.

5:56 PM

 
Blogger Anjali said...

good tips.Thx for visiting my blog.

7:22 PM

 
Blogger Carrie said...

yes I agree entirely, a double bubble bath is so much fun, too. ;)

7:29 PM

 
Blogger Sush said...

Well..at one point in life all these things become very important..and i guess this helps a lot to ppl who need it...the last one is the most important of all..listening patiently is an ability not many possess and to have tht in your partner is gr8..:).Thnx for dropping by.

8:39 PM

 
Blogger Neel said...

Anjali, thanks to you!

Mitzzee, do you have room in your tub?

Sushmita, I think you are absolutely right. Thanks for your comments.

10:16 PM

 
Blogger Karen said...

Romance - I believe when this art of expression was being handed out my husband had gone for a pint - I'd love him to be romantic but not if it meant lying to me - You shouldn't just tell people what they what to here if you don't mean it. :-)

11:06 PM

 
Blogger Natasha said...

yeah karen is right.

11:35 PM

 
Blogger Natasha said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:35 PM

 
Blogger Natasha said...

i am SO horny!

1:31 AM

 
Blogger Carrie said...

hehehe....I sure do!!!!

9:04 AM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

i'm a scorpio.

i guess that explains my pornographic mind.

11:45 AM

 
Blogger Neel said...

Karen, I agree with you. You will note on the post I recommend that you are sincere in your efforts.

Natasha, what are you going to do about that?

Mitzzee, save me a spot.

Sarah, you naughty scorpio!

1:02 PM

 
Blogger venus said...

hey neel, did u remove one of your posts about relationships?

1:28 PM

 
Blogger Neel said...

Venus - Nope its still there:
http://neelsen.blogspot.com/2005/06/relationships-part-one.html

3:03 PM

 
Blogger stella said...

neel,

where have you been all my life?

:D

5:51 PM

 
Blogger Jezzy said...

Must send this list to my hubby!

5:55 PM

 
Blogger Carrie said...

frisk-ay!

6:40 PM

 
Blogger Arch Storm said...

thanks a lot Mr Tutor :) :)

9:13 PM

 
Blogger venus said...

Thank you Neel, i should have looked more carefully. It looks like it went down in the order of posts..

8:01 AM

 
Blogger Neel said...

Stella, right here, you can frame me any time.

Jezzy, I hope it works out for your both!

Mitzzee, MEOW!

Venus, yes, I'm glad you found it.

11:48 AM

 
Blogger Sarah said...

meow..

i need a good recipe for fettucini.. like a lemony sauce.. with crisp steamed veggies and chicken.

any ideas on the sauce? it's light.. citrus-y..

5:32 PM

 
Blogger Neel said...

Ms Laughs, I will post a couple of fettuccini recipes for you, although I dont have or know of anything with a citrus flair.

11:53 PM

 
Blogger Neel said...

arch storm, sorry i didnt miss you purposely before. hope all is well thanks for stopping by. btw, i like cricket.

12:26 AM

 
Blogger Pallavi said...

quite interesting.. I should dredge up my list of what to do for men :) I had written it some long time ago :)

4:36 AM

 
Blogger iamnasra said...

well certainly this post was the most popular

Thank you for the tips I should make my future husband read this tips for better understanding my nature

1:18 PM

 
Blogger Natasha said...

what about me?

10:50 PM

 

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